I was born in Oak Park, Illinois, on Annee 173 de la Republique, mois de Brumiere, decade III, jour du sextidi. I tried the Oak Park public schools until the third grade, whereupon they sent me to the nuns. I drove the nuns crazy until 8th grade, whereupon they sent me to the Benedictines. Four years later, they had had enough of me, so they sent me to M.I.T.
At M.I.T., I hadn't intended to be a physicist. I went there on a Navy ROTC scholarship, and my master plan was to major in some sort of engineering, serve my time in the Navy, and then make big bucks on the outside. By my sophomore year, the Navy noticed that a) I was color blind and b) I had an extra vertebra, and they found themselves in a bind: I was going to be eligible for commissioning, but not eligible to perform any particular job. By the time they figured out what to do with me, I graduated with an S.B. in physics and took off for Illinois. I'm not sure when I switched from engineering to physics, but M.I.T. did not want to give me an engineering degree unless I took some engineering courses. They're fussy about that.
Back in Chicago, I took a job as a systems analyst, troubleshooter and troublemaker for McDonald's Corporation. You know the signs that say "55 Billion Served"? I had a hand in the counting. Soon it became clear that I was making too much money, so to insure a life of poverty, I entered Northwestern's graduate school in physics, paying the way by playing trumpet in a wedding band. We played "In The Mood" every night.
The picture of me above was taken near Adelaide, Australia in July, 1998. I was there presenting CDF's results on CP violation in B meson decays at CSSM's Workshop on CP Violation. I am the cute one in the picture. The picture of me below (I'm the one in the cyclo, not driving it) was taken in October, 1995 in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I was there talking on rare top quark decays at the IId Rencontres du Vietnam.